A Conversation With Myself
"Hey man, you need to kill your enemies."
"What?"
"You gotta kill your enemies."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why do I have to do that?"
"Well... I mean, they're your enemies. You gotta kill them."
"But I like my enemies, some of them are pretty cool."
"Well then why the hell are they your enemies?"
"What do you mean?"
"If you like them why are they your enemies? That makes no sense."
"I don't know. What difference does it make?"
"Forget it. If you won't kill your enemies, kill your friends."
"What? Why the hell would I do that, I like my friends. They're cool shit."
"Jesus christ, then kill everyone you hate."
"But I hate, like, everyone. Seriously. I don't think I could handle that."
"Oh my god, just go and kill the first three people you hate."
"Well... why do I have to be killing them?"
"Because you hate them."
"But, that's no reason to kill them, y'know?"
"Look dude, you just have to."
"I don't see why I can't just send them a letter."
"What?!"
"Strongly worded of course. Not a mean letter or anything, but one that gets my point accross."
"What the hell will that accomplish?"
"They'll know how I feel towards them, and noone will get hurt."
"But the point IS to hurt them."
"I don't want to hurt anybody, I don't really want to be mean."
"You're a total asshole damn near all the time."
"Well, like, I'm joking y'know. Everybody gets it."
"Man... Just fucking kill the next person that pisses you off, damn."
"That's totally mean."
"Oh shut the hell up you pussy. Look, I'll half kill them. All you gotta do is finish the job."
"Hey, stop that. There'll be no killing."
"Seriously, just smack them with a bottle. That would be enough."
"No way man, I don't even want to kill the people I hate."
"Sure you do."
"No."
"Oh my god you're boring. I'm fucking outta here."
"Hey, no need for that vulgar language."
"...DAMN man, I am so done with you."
"What?"
"You gotta kill your enemies."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why do I have to do that?"
"Well... I mean, they're your enemies. You gotta kill them."
"But I like my enemies, some of them are pretty cool."
"Well then why the hell are they your enemies?"
"What do you mean?"
"If you like them why are they your enemies? That makes no sense."
"I don't know. What difference does it make?"
"Forget it. If you won't kill your enemies, kill your friends."
"What? Why the hell would I do that, I like my friends. They're cool shit."
"Jesus christ, then kill everyone you hate."
"But I hate, like, everyone. Seriously. I don't think I could handle that."
"Oh my god, just go and kill the first three people you hate."
"Well... why do I have to be killing them?"
"Because you hate them."
"But, that's no reason to kill them, y'know?"
"Look dude, you just have to."
"I don't see why I can't just send them a letter."
"What?!"
"Strongly worded of course. Not a mean letter or anything, but one that gets my point accross."
"What the hell will that accomplish?"
"They'll know how I feel towards them, and noone will get hurt."
"But the point IS to hurt them."
"I don't want to hurt anybody, I don't really want to be mean."
"You're a total asshole damn near all the time."
"Well, like, I'm joking y'know. Everybody gets it."
"Man... Just fucking kill the next person that pisses you off, damn."
"That's totally mean."
"Oh shut the hell up you pussy. Look, I'll half kill them. All you gotta do is finish the job."
"Hey, stop that. There'll be no killing."
"Seriously, just smack them with a bottle. That would be enough."
"No way man, I don't even want to kill the people I hate."
"Sure you do."
"No."
"Oh my god you're boring. I'm fucking outta here."
"Hey, no need for that vulgar language."
"...DAMN man, I am so done with you."
