Nirdu is The House

God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

- Wake up and start your day off by watching Fight Club, part of a well balanced breakfast.

School is wretched. Having 10 hour days twice a week is just damnable, but this is what I deserve for taking so many easy semesters. Plus I get Thursdays off as a day of rest. I still need to fill this empty time with work. Work=money=happy. The amount of work I'm doing for school is huge, I have to read a book a week, do Spanish shit constantly, read philosophy stuff (which I actually really like) and do math. I'm sure my next couple of semesters will be just as bad. Almost time to sign up for my classes for next semester, damn well better get the classes I need.

ZONE Battle of Zouls card
Main Event - Trent Acid vs Steve Corino - ZONE Championzhip
Austin Aries & Super Dragon vs Low Ki & Sonjay Dutt
Chris Benoit vs Teddy Hart
Kaos, Sandman & Messiah vs Curry Man, Hi69 & Ikuto Hidaka
Harry Smith & Jack Evans vs Johnny Kashmere & Spanky
Katsuyori Shibata vs Fuego (Amazing) Red
Jimmy Rave, Jerrelle Clark & Derek Wylde vs Juvi Guerrera, Jeremy Lopez & MIKAMI

Friends... relations... Whatever the hell Meatwad is... I've lived a full life. It's actually been pretty bitchin'. But now, regrettably, my life has been taken. Please bury me with all my stuff, because you know it's mine... Dearest Meatwad: Turn on that dumb game 'cause I'm gonna wail on you from the grave, baby! Suck it up, mutha! Missing you already, M.S.

That's right, my Pats are going back to the Super Bowl to win it for the third time in four years! The Eagles will be harder than those pansy Panthers were last year, but not nearly as hard as the Colts or Steelers. Third championship? I think so!

SUPER BOWL BOUND!

HUGE news on the Japanese wrestling front. The prestigous Triple Crown of AJPW and the IWGP Heavyweight title of NJPW will both be up for grabs in a title vs title match on 2/20! Huge, huge, huge news. This would be like the WWF and WCW titles both being on the line in 1998. Hiroyoshi Tenzan will go into the match with the IWGP, but the Triple Crown could be either Toshiaki Kawada or Satoshi Kojima. My prediction is that it will be Satoshi Kojima. Kojima's push has taken forever and he has yet to take AJPW's ultimate prize. Plus we get a TenKoji rematch. Though I wonder if the match will go to a time limit draw, which seems the safe way out of creating a Quadra Crown. The first match between TenKoji went to a draw, and a second one with some of the most important titles in the world on the line would put both of them in stronger positions in their respective companies. Plus the IWGP really needs some stability to mean something. Also if Kojima lost the match he would have something like a 4 day reign with the TC. The other way it could go is Kawada retains, god forbid. Then it would be easier to have Tenzan win. A draw might work there too. Who knows, this is pretty fucking huge though.

Nigel - My herpes is raging!
Gerald - I have a cure for that in my secret folder of lies
Nigel - GERALD'S SECRET FOLDER OF LIES!


Gerald - No no no, nothing.
Nigel - Oh... yes quite. My mind plays the tricks.
Gerald - My mouth plays the dicks!

NO TALKING

Holy shit, I actually made it over a month! I said I wouldn't, I said I'd give up. But I made it. WOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo! Nature Boy Ric Flair! By my book accomplishing something I said I wouldn't do makes me a success. I feel like King Sisavang Vong of Luang Phrabang.
School sucks... I hate Spanish. Some crazy woman runs around screaming commands at us in a language we don't know while everyone stares at everyone else confused and just sorta shrugs it off. But the crazy woman is from... COLOMBIA! COLOMBIA! My history of modern Japan class is great, it went by too damn quick though. We spent an hour talking about the various shogunates of Japan and the changes that Tokugawa Ieyasu put into place. That hour went by so quick. I wish that class was like 3 hours long. My literature of the Vietnam War class is better than I thought it would be, since I expected it would be taught by some hippie but it's actually taught by a guy that was there. This guy makes the class real entertaining and he knows a hell of a lot about the war and he doesn't bullshit. The other classes are bleh, math and philosophy.


Tom Tucker: Due to an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company, all television transmissions will be out for an undetermined ammount of time. Of course no one can see this news program so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. How about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well Tom, I just plain don't like black people.
Cameraman: You guys, we're still on in Boston.

Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don't get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.

Andoras Nirdu is from Cape Town, South Africa.
He is a professional basketball, hockey, baseball, tennis, golf, curling player. Oh yeah, he's also a world reknowned legend of professional wrestling. A true champion. RESPECT THE HOUSE! RESPECT THE BOUSE! NIRDU IS THE HOUSE!


(however I am not the house, nor the bouse)

Because you can't have the best without the worst. Here are the worst of the year awards in wrestling.

Worst Wrestler
TIE

John Heidenreich
Give me a damn break, who is this jobber talentless waste? This piece of horse puke is actually in a feud with the Undertaker. Seriously, what sort of steroid crazy joke is this guy. Noone gets into the chants and he gets no heat. Vince is hoping that if he forces this poetry-reading pile of worthless on us enough he might get a little heat. For god's sake this guy kidnapped Michael Cole and read poetry to him!
Gene Snisky

Give me another damn break. This random guy showed up to job to Kane, but ended up main eventing ppvs months later! His highlight of the year? He made Lita have a miscarriage! Horrible name, goofy looking face, bland look. No talent, no charisma, no heat. A big yawn from the crowds when GENE SNISKY hits the ring. I just don't get it...
Honorable mentions - JBL, Kane, Eugene

Worst Promotion

WWE
It wasn't so bad last year, but this year was incredibly horrible for this "entertainment" company. For a company with some of the top talent in the world, they sure do know how to fuck up their company. Making us watch talentless uncharismatic jobbers for 2 hours is pointless. Creating angles even cheesy soap operas wouldn't touch is foolish. Put Heymon in charge Vince, Steph can't write for shit. Ugh, diva dodgeball. Towards the end of the year dozens of new faces showed up, and I could care less. Fuck the E.
Honorable mentions - TNA, NJPW (except for the G1)

Worst Moment

Lita's miscarriage
If I could count the whole damn Kane & Lita vs Snitsky feud as a moment that would be in the running for worst ever. God this was so horrible, and this was just about the time I was turning away from the E for good. This was one of those "Why god why?" moments in "wrestling". It was soooooooooo far beyond bad that I wonder if Vince has brain cancer for letting this shit go ahead.
Honorable mentions - JBL wins title, Bob Sapp wins title, Diva search bullshit

Worst Champion

JBL
Wait, isn't this guy that drinks beer and plays poker? No I think it's a banker or something. This perma-midcarder got a push for some reason and within a month of that push starting he was champion for the rest of the year. He STILL doesn't get any heat with crowds, and they don't even put him on air. A little "publicity" from being fired from the news for being a nazi gives this failed wrestler the title pretty much. I vomit in my mouth every time I remember he is holding the most devalued title in the world.
Honorable mentions - Bob Sapp, Jeff Jarrett, Jacqueline

Funniest Death


Ray "Big Boss Man" Traylor
I wonder if the Big Show showed up at his burial and dragged his coffin with his car.

Glass Ceiling Award

Paul London
A tragedy that the E has London, a true tragedy. He is underused and underpushed and underappreciated. This man could be the next Rey or RVD if the E let him loose. He lit the indies on fire with his performances, but all Vince and that god awful Bruce Prichard let him do is job to Kidman in a mediocre feud. Please give Paul London a legitimate chance Vinnie.

Please Die Award

Vince McMahon
For the second year Vinnie-Mac gets this award, but just barely. Vince continues the downward spiral into insanity, next year we'll see Big Show marry a bear and have midget children that become the tag team champions of Velocity. Oh and that's a picture of Vince when he was champion.
Honorable mentions - Dusty Rhodes, Bruce Prichard, Jeff Jarrett

I'll use this space as my land of award giving. Here are my 2004 awards for wrestling starting with the big ones.

Wrestler of the Year

Chris Benoit
A VERY hard decision. There were so many others that had good years, but Chris Benoit just had a career year. He managed to win the big one in spectacular Wrestlemania main event and hold it for about half a year. Great matches and feuds led me to give Benoit this award.
Honorable mentions - Samoa Joe, Kenta Kobashi, Eddie Guerrero, CM Punk

Match of the Year

Samoa Joe vs CM Punk II
Honorable mentions - Joe vs Punk I, Aries vs Joe, Kobashi vs Akiyama, XXX vs AMW 2

Tag Team of the Year

Triple X
They're still great, and even though they can't tag anymore they had a great year.
Honorable mentions - AMW, Marufuji & KENTA, RVD and Rey Mysterio

Champion of the Year

Samoa Joe
Though it was Benoit's year of glory, it was Joe's belt of glory. He fought hard the entire year putting on great match after great match to bring prestige to the ROH belt, and he succeeded. He was a fighting champion. He had several key feuds that brought the excitement of title-based wrestling back.
Honorable mentions - Kenta Kobashi, Eddie Guerrero, HEAT

Promotion of the Year

Ring of Honor
What a damned glorious year it was for the largest indy in America. Classic feuds, classic matches, classic events I attended! From the Briscoes to Generation Next to Scramble Cage to even Dunn & Marcos, ROH had it going on last year. They truly rose to the next level of fame, and are moving into and ECW-like position, except their success doesn't depend on a TV show. Their success depends on having more years like 2004.
Honorable mentions - IWA:MS, NOAH, PWG

Moment of the Year

Eddie Guerrero and Chris Benoit post-WMXX celebration
I HAVE to go back and give this award to Guerrero and Benoit. Historically it was the single most important moment between these two legendary champions. The award originally went to Aries winning the ROH title, but was skewed as that had happened only a week or so earlier.
Honorable mentions - Aries wins ROH title, Brock leaves WWE, Joe-Punk draws