Nirdu is The House

REY MYSTERIO WON THE ROYAL FUCKING RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rey Mysterio has earned a WRESTLEMANIA MAIN EVENT!
I'M TYPING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST MOMENTS IN WRESTLING!
Rey Mysterio vs Kurt Angle headlines WrestleMania XXII.
Shock! I'm in pure shock!
This fucking year has thrown everything I thought I knew about the predictability of the WWE, of wrestling in general into crazy disorder.

... Edge dropped the title back to John Cena. Edge didn't even get a month. Edge brought in huge ratings, huge interest. Didn't see this coming. Cena is stale, boring, the same. Edge was... cutting edge. He IS the present. But... three letters... three H's. Triple H can't win the title off a heel at WM, he needs to win it off a face.

Cena loses at WM in the pre-Main Event match to Edge or Trips.
Rey Mysterio wins the Main Event-Main Event to become World Champion.

Seriously, this month has been all kinds of crazy for me. I'm livin' it, I'm lovin' it. Wrestling, life, school, god damn I love January.

So it's going around that the WWE is planning to hire anyone that TNA wants to a long-term contract, and then not use them at all. This is BAD news, since TNA is showing interest in much of the best ROH workers and the best indy workers in general. We've already heard that the WWE wants Samoa Joe to join them, and if the rumors are to be believed they want him to be what RIKISHI couldn't. They want Samoa Joe to be a random Samoan heel. They want talented indy performers to kill their careers in the E, just so that they can't help TNA challenge them. I hope to hell noone gets duped into this, regardless of the money. TNA will treat you like wrestlers with true talent, the E will treat you like a second rate actor below Chris Masters.
They are also offering any wrestlers that might leave huge increases. People like Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho are being offered huge pay rises simply so that people with "actual value" don't end up in TNA. They are probably starting to panic since Sting has gone to TNA and seems to be the man that will bring the company to challenge the E. So Vince is scared, and he's starting to get dirty again.

As I have elaborated on my disappointment with my rather bland cultural background in an earlier post, I may as well take the time to expand upon my surname.

Jordan
I may hate my cultural background, but I love my last name. Seriously, it has such a great sound at the beginning. JOR. JOR. JOR. It's so guttaral. It's so phoentic. It sounds the way it's spelled. Then it's followed by my first name. DAN. JOR-DAN. Brilliant. Look at it, love it. Sound it out. Such a seemingly bland name, a name held by oh so many. But so nonsensical. How many words in English start with the JOR combination? Sure, some start with that French 'JOUR', but I can't think of any that start with JOR. Beautiful.

In all liklihood the name originates in the Middle East with the Jordan River. Jordan is itself of Hebrew origin. It is a translation of the Hebrew name for the Jordan River, which is Yarden. Though I don't know exactly how it became adopted into the Anglo-Celtic name frame in the British Isles, I'd like to believe that some crusader accomponying Richard the Lionheart adopted the name from the region. It happened all the time in the crusader states, since last names were generally not used at the time and only nobles used them to distinguish what lands they reigned over. Though I can not be sure.

See, I have to try and make my familial history more exciting since it seems so boring to me. Granted it's not necessarily boring per se, as I've seen a brief summation of the history of my branch of the Jordans in America and there were some real interesting personalities in there. I just need to tie myself into the crusaders, one of my favorite periods of history.

Well I've rambled on enough.

David St. Hubbins: What's that on your finger?
Nigel Tufnel: It's my gum.
David St. Hubbins: What are you doing with it on your finger?
Nigel Tufnel: I might need it later.
David St. Hubbins: Put it on the table, that's terrible.
Nigel Tufnel: No, I might forget it on the table.
David St. Hubbins: [to Marty] Fucking awful, you can't take him anywhere.

The most excellent month perhaps ever has gotten more excellenter! Yes, I used a fake word for how great this month has been.

JUN AKIYAMA WON THE GHC HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!

Another major title change has happened, and another GREAT champion begins his title reign. Everyone knew that Akiyama would have a second reign as GHC Champion, and that time has finally come. SternesS wears the gold, gold that he won from Akira Taue at the Tokyo Nippon Budokon. This match sold the Budokon out! Legit sell-out. Those are getting hard in Japan, but NOAH can do it. I'm sure this had some help from the undercard of KENTA vs Naomichi Marufuji, which KENTA won. I've already heard people declaring KENTA vs Marufuji a MOTYC.
Akiyama has said that he won't feel like a real champion until he defeats Kenta Kobashi. To me that sounds like a main event at the Tokyo Dome again! It did very well two in 2004 and was one of the frontrunners for MOTY. With the tables turned and Akiyama champion, I am certain that a damn good crowd could be drawn. I've also seen reports that Marufuji is a top contender for the belt, which strikes me as odd since he's still a junior. He needs to gain some muscle to challenge.

Edge, Kurt Angle, Jun Akiyama. Who's next?

Oh my most troublesome of gods today was a wretched day. Yes I should be happy that it was springtime weather instead of winter weather... but what a fucking miserable day. I usually thrive in misery, but today I floundered.

Five classes in a fucking row with no break. The most uncomfortable of seating which led to 50 miserable fucking minutes for each class. Every class is on the third or fourth floor. Blasting wind whipping me about and throwing freezing rain in my face. Puddles on EVERY FUCKING WALKWAY! HUGE PUDDLES. I was soaked from every damn near half a mile walk that I have between my classes. Hearing how heavy my workload is going to be this semester... oh it will be heavy. Carrying around a heavy ass backpack during all of this. AND ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS, I was functioning on essentially three hours of sleep.

By the time three came around I said "fuck it" to going to the meeting and just went home, soaked and as tired as I've been in quite a long time. The second I got home my body just crashed and I slept for like five hours. I woke up, watched Lost, ate, and I'm probably going to bed soon.

And I only have to do it three times a week! This is the worst schedule I've ever had... but I need it.

What a fucking day...

As I live entirely on the opposite coast, I don't really follow California politics at all. I have no interest in what goes on in that state at all as a matter of fact. I had entirely forgotten until a few days ago that they had a former actor as a governor. No not Reagan, that was a while ago. Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Seen here delivering a speech I think...


It was just oddly surreal to see "Gov. Arnold Shwarzenegger" below his name. But this is coming from someone who votes for Bill Cosby for everything. Hey, one of these days he'll win, even if he isn't technically running.

Глава в он возвращает к университету.

So that time is once again upon me, my days of laze, sloth and ikävystyminen are coming to an end and I must return to the university. Classes start up again tomorrow, and it looks like I'll be overloaded with work this semester. Three writing intensive classes and hopefully some work on the paper will ensure my continued business. Oh there will be stress... isn't there always?

Another month without a job is how I viewed this vacation. I tried to get one, but there aren't that many places left. It's amazing how fickle some people are, how quickly they can write you out of their life. I don't care, though, roll with the punches. I've grown used to this, I can shrug it off. When someone writes me back into their life... it's always unexpected. It's was a boost and made me smile. It's good to know you matter to certain people. Errr... Ah fuck, I've run off into emo territory with this post. Someone fucking shoot me. Jesus christ, if people find out I have feelings my rep will be ruined! MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. WAS BLACK, TODAY IS HIS DAY, I WATCHED A SPECIAL ON HIM. Acutally it was an episode of The Boondocks in which they dreamed that he hadn't died but went into a coma and came out of it in 2000. Twas funny.

In case you haven't read, at the Ring of Honor 100th show they will be running a major main event. It will be a rematch of their first ever main event, "American Dragon" Bryan Danielson vs Christopher Daniels vs Low Ki. That match was one of the all time classics and in fact the best Triple Threat match ever. That match took place four years ago, and to say that these three have improved would be an understatement. Danielson is one of the most talented indy wrestlers in the world, Danielson is staking his claim as a legend, and Low Ki... is Low Ki x3. I am definately looking forward to this little matchup. I have a feeling this will be the years first MOTYC.

And now a comic dealing with Japanese views on foreigners:

KURT ANGLE HAS WON THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT (Trips) CHAMPIONSHIP!

To say i'm stunned is saying the absolute least. In one simple week, the WWE has gone from stale with crappy champions to less stale with GREAT champions. It was a huge shock when Edge finally got his first title. When I read that Kurt Angle became the champion for the first time in almost 3 years, I was happily surprised.

I never expected the WWE to please me so quickly in 2006. They have done so in spades. I hope Edge is given a decent run with the title. I know Angle is a transitional champ, a very strong one at that. If you need a solid competitor to put the title on for a short, but strong reign, Angle is the man. I don't know who he's transitioning to, but I'm hoping with all my heart that he will drop the title to Rey Mysterio. Randy Orton or Chris Benoit wouldn't be too bad either. I also hope that it isn't Bobby Lashley or Mark Henry, who I view as jobbers and jokes.

I'll try and enjoy this period of quality champions for as long as it lasts. VIVA KURT ANGLE! VIVA EDGE! Come on Christian, win the NWA World title and give us the triple crown Team ECK championship!

EDGE WON THE FUCKING WWE CHAMPIONSHIP! It only took a week for the WWE to do something RIGHT! One of the most deserving wrestlers in recent memory not to win the title, and he cashes in his title shot to beat John Cena.

I remember thinking when I was reading the results to his match against Ric Flair after he used the briefcase to win, "Damn, it's almost been a year. Is he EVER going to use that title contract?" and not an hour later he used it to win the title.

I almost forgot what it was like to have a good champion. Now I remember. EDGE IS THE WORLD CHAMPION!

Now if only Christian would win the NWA World Championship, we would have E & C as world champions at the same time. OH MY GOD!

Noticias de Nunca

- The Knights Templar were the coolest Holy Order ever. If they still existed, I would convert to Catholicism in order to join them. Red crosses on a white field, how swanky is that!

- I'm getting ever so slightly more insane as the days twitter by, before long I'll be a crazyperson.

- I was going to write a post about traveling to a random country, but for some reason I posted it on Myspace. It would have been far better written had I done it here. It didn't belong there.

- 2006 has started off pretty damn good, if a little slow.

- Today is Chris Masters' birthday. He is the worst major wrestler currently alive.

- Brock Lesnar vs Shinsuke Nakamura was so basic it could have been two jobbers on Velocity.

- I'm looking forward to the Miami Vice movie.

- I wish I was in Japan. Or Italy. Or England. Or South Africa. Or Egypt. Or China. Just anywhere would be fine...

- My ears hurt from listening to so much music on my iPod. I need to get new headphones, but I don't want to spend my money. I just want to look at my money and marvel at the fact that I have money.

- Satoshi Kojima has no one left to defend the Triple Crown against except Taiyo Kea. I'd wager AJPW doesn't make it to the end of the year.

- I take really bad pictures, which demoralizes me and makes me not take any more.

- I miss every 90% of calls to my cell phone, even ones I'm expecting. That was a bit of a problem earlier.

... That's all for now. I promise I'll post a real post next time. With sentances, and full thoughts instead of these crazy half-thoughts.

P to the S - Happy Commonwealth Day to those of my readers in the North Mariana Islands, all zero of you!


Police Chief Clancy Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh... Uh, better start with Greek town.
FBI Agent: That's Homer J. Simpson, chief. You're reading it upside down.
Police Chief Clancy Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, oh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
FBI Agent: Uh, chief... you're talking into your wallet.

I am IMMORTAL! That is to say, I am IMMUNE!
I have been surrounded by sickness for two solid weeks and yet I catch nothing. I spent a few days last week with sickards, and no less than three times drove a car full of coughing diseased fools. Yet nothing. I spent New Year's with a couple of sickards. Yet nothing. My house is CONSTANTLY full of sickards. Yet nothing.
Clearly my sacrifices to Chalchiutotolin, the Aztec god of disease, have been working and I am under his protection.
...but now I've committed hubris, and I shall face the sickening wrath of Chalchiutotolin and his good chum Tlahuizcalpantecuhtli, the skybearor.

PROTECT ME ODIN!

Andy Dufresne: If they ever try to trace any of those accounts, they're gonna end up chasing a figment of my imagination.
Red: Well, I'll be damned. Did I say you were good? Shit, you're a Rembrandt!
Andy Dufresne: Yeah. The funny thing is - on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.

Eminem's book, it'll change your life...

Holy shit, calm down. Just kidding.
I spent most of yesterday moving my room around. Ooooh big freckin deal right? It's been over a year since the last time I moved my room around in truth. I moved that desk that I've had for like 10 years, the one that held my tv, right out of my room. I replaced it with an actual entertainment center. First the center had to be assembled, but once that was done I put it in the place my couch had been for so long. Now my couch is over where my tv was.
The only real problem in all of this was the endless amounts of wires. I had to disconnect my surround sound, unplug the extension cords that ran everywhere and bundle them all up in to one pile. Since the TV used to be on the opposite side of the room from the only outlet, I used to have a network of extension cords. Now I don't need that network, so my room is that much cleaner. Which is good because I'm getting pretty OCD about my room being clean. Not perfectly clean, of course, just acceptable. Well, more acceptable than 5 years ago.
I didn't move my bed, which means I won't get that confusing "Where the fuck am I?" feeling when I wake up. Next time.


Photojournalist - One through nine, no maybes, no supposes, no fractions. You can't travel in space, you can't go out into space, you know, without, like, you know, uh, with fractions - what are you going to land on - one-quarter, three-eighths? What are you going to do when you go from here to Venus or something? That's dialectic physics.

WELCOME TO 1973... I mean, welcome to 2006. This is technically the third year my blog has existed in, though just over a year that it has been around.

This year in wrestling has been fairly exciting, with an on fire NOAH and a solid ROH stealing the scene. WWE was consistent, but not over the top great. In fact, there was some real shit coming out of the E. NJPW was pretty off for the second half of the year and ended up living down the exceptional first part of the year. Still, those puppets will always love everything they do and the other puppets will hate everything they do. I'm the middle voice. Well I've chatted long enough, here are the awards for the year 2005!

WRESTLER OF THE YEAR

SAMOA JOE
Let's face it, Joe had a damn fine year. His 2004 was incredible, and I'm sure 2006 will be his career year. But this year he was everywhere, fighting everyone and he was consistently great. Whether comedy matches with Ebessan or crushing Ki and Cide, or going to the limit with Kobashi, he was perfect. He made his debut in TNA and has become a star there, a potential future ace of the company. Couldn't happen to anyone finer. I don't doubt he'll be back here next year.
Runners up - Kenta Kobashi, Satoshi Kojima, CM Punk

TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR

MINORU FUJITA and IKUTO HIDAKA
Great quality matches coupled with major success gives this team the award. They dominated the junior tag belts in Zero-One for most of the year, and then managed to win the heavyweight tag belts. They defended against the main event duo of Shinjiro Otani and Masato Tanaka, which is noteworthy. They are the top tag team in the world right now, with only AMW even close to challenging them.
Runners Up - AMW, Kenta Kobashi & Go Shiosaki, BJ Whitmer & Jimmy Jacobs

MATCH OF THE YEAR

Kenta Kobashi vs Kensuke Sasaki, NOAH 7/18/05
This match was epic in every sense of the word. It was long, brutal, high-profile and was damn near perfect. They showed their strength in a 5 minute chop battle, which made me cringe just watching. When it came down to it, this match simply had EVERYTHING that a quality match needs. While it's no technical classic, these two just go out there and murder each other. They make that work in this match that will go down in history as one of the greatest 5 star classics ever.
Runners up - Samoa Joe vs Kenta Kobashi (10/1/05), Kenta Kobashi & Go Shiosaki vs Kensuke Sasaki & Katsuhiko Nakajima (11/5/05), AJ Styles vs Samoa Joe (12/11/05)

CHAMPION OF THE YEAR

SATOSHI KOJIMA
The first Triple Crown reign of Satoshi Kojima started with a major victory over Kawada. This was quickly followed by a brief unification with the IWGP title. For a short period he was the Four Crown King, the first ever, in Japan. He defended the Triple Crown against ALL top contenders. Though his reign is looking like it might fumble in 2006, it was perfect in 2005.
Runners up - Austin Aries, CM Punk, Bryan Danielson

BEST PROMOTION

RING OF HONOR
It was a close call between ROH and NOAH, but Takeshi Rikio being the focus of most of the year for NOAH weakened them. ROH had many quality feuds and produced some very high quality shows. The focus of ROH was on many different stars, with everyone having their share of the spotlight at some point. A high quality main event and upper midcard scene made up for the weak undercards. Not the best year for Ring of Honor, but the Punk title run and the incredible feuds give ROH this award.
Runner up - Pro Wrestling NOAH

MOMENT OF THE YEAR

CM PUNK TURNS ON THE FANS
He had the haters cheering for him, tearing up at his title win. Everyone was on Punk's side, and he had us all hook, line and sinker. We followed him right off the edge. He stayed in ROH for a month after his title win, and used his "last night" to put us all over. Brilliant stuff.
Runners up - Eddie Guerrero tribute shows, CM Punk REAL farewell, Matt Hardy invades RAW

WORST WRESTLER OF THE YEAR

CHRIS MASTERS
Talentless big man gets undeserved push, nuff said.

WORST PROMOTION

WWE
Shifted the focus even further away from wrestling and more on crappy angles. On the upside, Wrestlecrap is getting new stuff to rip on every week.

WORST CHAMPION

JEFF JARRETT
With so many talented and popular wrestlers in TNA, the fact that this asshole holds the belt most of the time is a goddamn travesty.

WORST MOMENT

VINCE EXAMINES JR'S ASS
Yea... that shit killed the WWE in my mind, this was the lowest of the low. WHY THE FUCK DID THIS HAPPEN!?

GLASS CEILING AWARD

CHRISTIAN
To be fair, he saw that he was being held down and said, "Fuck it, I quit" and went to a company that actually appreciates the wrestlers that deserve to be appreciated. Christian went from his first main event to Velocity just that quick.

PLEASE DIE AWARD

VINCE MCMAHON
Just because, I'm sick of the fucking WWE being the leader of the world but being a total joke. Noone takes wrestling seriously because of this asshole.

FUNNIEST DEATH

CHRIS CANDIDO
Sorry Chris, I just have to give out this award. Your death was so unexpected as to be funny. You did a lot, but your death was funny. So random. You died from such a simple injury.