Nirdu is The House

I sent out my application the other day. My JET Application. I sealed it, signed it, and sent it. That's my future. I need it. I don't think there's much left here for me any more. Nothing but the same old shit, empty promises of possible futures, and dreams of past glories.


Japan. I have to succeed and get accepted into the program. I don't have a backup plan. There's nothing and noone left here, no reason to stay. Plenty I'll miss, but not enough to keep me here.

I need a new life in another land. Maybe I'll get that one right.

...either way there'll be Japos. So at least it'll be fun!

I don't know, a lot of people questioned whether Punk would amount to anything in the E. After all, look at London and Spanky. Yet here is Punk, with his own shirt, standing between two of the biggest names in wrestling history holding his own. Standing out.

But that's CM Punk for you. He's the real masterpiece in the WWE.

So I've realized that this semester I have never been more successful with written essays/papers than ever before. No, I'm not saying that I'm writing my best papers ever. In fact it's quite the opposite. My papers are terrible. I don't know what I'm talking about all the time. I've never read or even looked at the material I'm writing about. You know what my lowest grade has been? 88. Yeah, a B. I've come to the conclusion that I FUCKING RULE. Let me give you a few examples.

On a paper about The Tain, an Irish epic, I didn't even start writing the paper until 2 weeks after it was due. This would be 2 days after everyone else got the paper back. How/why you ask? Simple, I convinced my professor that she had misplaced my paper. In the end I turned in my paper, in which I rambled for 6 pages about something or other, and she apologized for the inconvenience. A- on that one.

For one paper on some indian women for my history of indians class, I convinced my professor that I had been unable to print my paper. So what, everyone does that, right? Well, no, I actually had to talk about my paper. Luckily I went last, listened to everyone else and repeated what they said in a different way. He said good job, and after class I wrote the paper using everyone elses ideas interspersed with a minimal amount of research. I spent the next two hours writing it, and turned it in to him later that day. A on that one.

On another paper I actually couldn't find any information about one of the four parts I had to write about. What did I do, keep researching, read up on it? No, I wrote a basic introductory paragraph that made it seem like it would be continued on the next page, and then started the next page with the first paragraph of my next section. This made it look like I had a missing page. I turn it in. Guess what? A-. That's right, I got an A- on that paper!

Anyway, I'm really not trying this semester. That's the only reason I'm not putting the effort in, because these classes don't matter. They're filler so I can graduate. But I'm good, damn good.

I just don't. I don't vote. Stop asking me if I'm going to. I'm not. I won't. Ever. I don't pay attention to the races. I don't care who wins. Everybody's the same. They all take your money and they all screw you over. Every politician is owned by corporate money. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying. If that's how it works, fine. I honestly don't care. I'm a registered Republican, but if I could I'd belong to the apathetic party.

The masses are too easily swayed by the media, politicians, special interest groups and religion. Everyone tells hyperbolic lies in order to get you to believe their version of reality. The population is sheep. Or just stupid. Granted, there are many educated individuals. But nobody is above being influenced. Hell, even I am sometimes. I catch it. My opinions change day to day. I just don't care.

If I did vote I'd vote Woodcock for governor, because he has a name that would make me laugh every time I heard it.

I don't believe in Democracy anyway. I'm sorry to say, but not everyone's voice matters.

Work.
Applications.
Papers.
Essays.
Articles.
Games.
Procrastination.

So many deadlines.
I have a day.
I have a week.
I have a month.
I have two months.
I have nine months.

Every day is wasted.
Every day is painful.
Every day is wonderful.
Every day is fresh.
Every day is challenging.

I want my mind to clear.
I want to feel.
I want to be strong.
I want to stop.

I realized my weakness.
I realized my faults.
I realized how wrong I have been.

Δύο άνθρωποι θέλουν ένα πράγμα
Οι καρδιές τους που καταστρέφονται από τη μοίρα

My eyes... are open.

Today, as I was writing up the transcripts of the Nigel and Gerald shows I made a bit of a startling revelation.

Yes, we are goddamn funny.

I've always heard people say how funny we were. I really have. I never necessarily believed them, I thought they were being nice. Today for the first time in the three years since we've made the shows I listened to them in order to write the transcripts. I found myself laughing so hard at how funny we were. Some of the things were more in-jokes than anything, but there was some solid humor in there. When I was listening to the George Foreman episode I was in tears it was so funny.

I'm proud of myself.

There may be a future there.

Mississippi Burning.